a half, before the man with his
gun, began to look at his priming.
I had three several times loiter'd terribly
behind ; half a mile at least every time :
once, in deep conference with a drum-
maker, who was making drums for the
fairs of Baucaira and Tarascone -- I did
not understand the principles --
The
The second time, I cannot so properly
say, I stopp'd -- for meeting a couple
of Franciscans straiten'd more for time
than myself, and not being able to get to
the bottom of what I was about -- I
had turne'd back with them --
The third, was an affair of trade with
a gossip, for a hand basket of Provence
figs for four sous ; this would have been
transacted at once ; but for a case of con-
science at the close of it ; for when the
figs were paid for, it turn'd out, that
there were two dozen of eggs cover'd
over with vine-leaves at the bottom of
the basket -- as I had no intention of
buying eggs -- I made no sort of claim
of them -- as for the space they had occu-
pied -- what signified it? I had figs enow
for my money --
L 4 -- But
-- But it was my intention to have the
basket -- it was the gossip's intention to
keep it, without which, she could do
nothing with her eggs -- and unless I
had the basket, I could do as little with
my figs, which were too ripe already, and
most of 'em burst at the side : this
brought on a short contention, which
terminated in sundry proposals, what we
should both do --
-- How we disposed of our eggs and
figs, I defy you, or the Devil himself, had
he not been there (which I am persuaded
he was) to form the least probable con-
jecture : You will read the whole of it
-- not this year, for I am hastening
to the story of my uncle Toby's amours
-- but you will read it in the collection of
those which have arose out of the journey
across
across this plain -- and which, therefore,
I call my
PLAIN STORIES.
How far my pen has been fatigued like
those of other travellers, in this journey
of it, over so barren a track -- the world
must judge -- but the traces of it, which
are now all set o' vibrating together this
moment, tell me 'tis the most fruitful and
busy period of my life ; for as I had
made no convention with my man with
the gun as to time -- by stopping and
talking to every soul I met who was not
in a full trot -- joining all parties before
me -- waiting for every soul behind -- hail-
ing all those who were coming through
cross roads -- arresting all kinds of beg-
gars, pilgrims, fiddlers, fryars -- not
passing by a woman in a mulberry-tree
without
without commending her legs, and tempt-
ing her into conversation with a pinch of
snuff -- In short, by seizing every
handle, of what size or shape soever,
which chance held out to me in this jour-
ney -- I turned my plaininto a city -- I was
always in company, and with great va-
riety too ; and as my mule loved society
as much as myself, and had some propo-
sals always on his part to offer to every
beast he met -- I am confident we could
have passed through Pall-Mall or St.
James's-Street for a month together, with
fewer adventures -- and seen less of human
nature.
O! there is that sprightly frankness
which at once unpins every plait of a
Languedocian's dress -- that whatever is
beneath it, it looks so like the simplicity
which
which poets sing of in better days -- I will
delude my fancy, and believe it is so.
'Twas in the road betwixt Nismes and
Lunel, where there is the best Muscatto
wine in all France, and which by the bye
belongs to the honest canons of MONT-
PELLIER -- and foul befall the man who
has drank it at their table, who grudges
them a drop of it.
-- The sun was set -- they had done
their work ; the nymphs had tied up
their hair afresh -- and the swains were
preparing for a carousal -- My mule
made a dead point -- 'Tis the fife and
tabourin, said I -- I'm frighten'd to
death, quoth he -- They are running at
the ring of pleasure, said I, giving him
a prick -- By saint Boogar, and all the
saints at the backside of the door of pur-
gatory,
gatory, said he -- (making the same reso-
lution with the Abbess of Andoüillets)
I'll not go a step further -- 'Tis very
well, sir, said I -- I never will argue a
point with one of your family, as long as
I live ; so leaping off his back, and kick-
ing off one boot into this ditch, and
t'other into that -- I'll take a dance, said
I -- so stay you here.
A sun-burnt daughter of Labour rose
up from the groupe to meet me as I
advanced towards them ; her hair, which
was a dark chestnut, approaching rather
to a black, was tied up in a knot, all but
a single tress.
We want a cavalier, said she, holding
out both her hands, as if to offer them --
and
And a cavalier ye shall have ; said I,
taking hold of both of them.
Hadst thou, Nannette, been array'd
like a dutchesse!
-- But that cursed slit in thy petti-
coat!
Nannette cared not for it.
We could not have done without you,
said she, letting go one hand, with self-
taught politeness, leading me up with the
other.
A lame youth, whom Apollo had
recompenced with a pipe, and to which
he had added a tabourin of his own ac-
cord, ran sweetly over the prelude, as he
sat upon the bank -- Tie me up this
tress instantly, said Nannette, putting a
piece of string into my hand -- It taught
9 me
me to forget I was a stranger -- The
whole knot fell down -- We had been
seven years acquainted.
The youth struck the note upon the
tabourin -- his pipe followed, and off we
bounded -- ``the duce take that slit!''
The sister of the youth who had stolen
her voice from heaven, sung alternately
with her brother -- 'twas a Gascoigne
roundelay.
VIVA LA JOIA!
FIDON LA TRISTESSA!
The nymphs join'd in unison, and their
swains an octave below them --
I would have given a crown to have it
sew'd up -- Nannette would not have given
a sous -- Viva la joia! was in her lips --
Viva la joia! was in her eyes. A tran-
sient
sient spark of amity shot across the space
betwixt us -- She look'd amiable! --
Why could I not live and end my days
thus? Just disposer of our joys and sor-
rows, cried I, why could not a man sit
down in the lap of content here -- and
dance, and sing, and say his prayers,
and go to heaven with this nut brown
maid? capriciously did she bend her head
on one side, and dance up insidious --
Then 'tis time to dance off, quoth I ;
so changing only partners and tunes, I
danced it away from Lunel to Mont-
pellier -- from thence to Pesçnas, Bezi-
ers -- I danced it along through Nar-
bonne, Carcasson, and Castle Naudairy,
till at last I danced myself into Perdrillo's
pavillion, where pulling a paper of black
lines, that I might go on straight for-
8 wards,
wards, without digression or parenthesis,
in my uncle Toby's amours --
I begun thus --
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