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with death, as I am this moment
with my apothecary, how and where I
will take his glister -- I should certainly
declare against submitting to it before my
friends ; and therefore, I never seriously
think upon the mode and manner of this
great catastrophe, which generally takes
up and torments my thoughts as much
as the catastrophe itself, but I constantly
draw the curtain across it with this wish,
that the Disposer of all things may so
order it, that it happen not to me in my
own house -- but rather in some decent
inn -- at home, I know it, -- the con
cern of my friends, and the last services
of wiping my brows and smoothing my
D 3 pillow,
pillow, which the quivering hand of pale
affection shall pay me, will so crucify my
soul, that I shall die of a distemper which
my physician is not aware of : but in an
inn, the few cold offices I wanted, would
be purchased with a few guineas, and
paid me with an undisturbed, but punc-
tual attention -- but mark. This
inn, should not be the inn at Abbeville
-- if there was not another inn in the
universe, I would strike that inn out of
the capitulation : so
Let the horses be in the chaise exactly
by four in the morning -- Yes, by four,
Sir, -- or by Genevieve! I'll raise a
clatter in the house, shall wake the dead.
C H A P.
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