OBADIAH gain'd the two crowns
without dispute ; for he came in
jingling, with all the instruments in the
green bays bag we spoke of, slung across
his body, just as Corporal Trim went out
of the room.

It is now proper, I think, quoth Dr.
Slop, (clearing up his looks) as we are in
a condition to be of some service to
Mrs. Shandy, to send up stairs to know
how she goes on.
I

[ 157 ]

I have ordered, answered my father,
the old midwife to come down to us
upon the least difficulty ; ---- for you
must know, Dr. Slop, continued my fa-
ther, with a perplexed kind of a smile
upon his countenance, that by express
treaty, solemnly ratified between me and
my wife, you are no more than an auxi-
liary in this affair, -- and not so much
as that, ---- unless the lean old mother
of a midwife above stairs cannot do
without you. ------ Women have their
particular fancies, and in points of this
nature, continued my father, where they
bear the whole burden, and suffer so
much acute pain for the advantage of
our families, and the good of the spe-
cies, -- they claim a right of deciding,
en Soveraines, in whose hands, and in
what fashion, they chuse to undergo
it.
They

[ 158 ]

They are in the right of it, -- quoth
my uncle Toby. But, Sir, replied Dr.
Slop, not taking notice of my uncle Toby's
opinion, but turning to my father, -- they
had better govern in other points ; -- and
a father of a family, who wished its per-
petuity, in my opinion, had better ex-
change this prerogative with them, and
give up some other rights in lieu of it. --
I know not, quoth my father, answering
a little too testily, to be quite dispassion-
ate in what he said, -- I know not, quoth
he, what we have left to give up, in lieu
of who shall bring our children into the
world, -- unless that, -- of who shall beget
them. ---- One would almost give up
any thing, replied Dr. Slop. ---- I beg
your pardon, -- answered my uncle Toby.
---- Sir, replied Dr. Slop, it would asto-
nish you to know what Improvements
we have made of late years in all branches
of

[ 159 ]

of obstetrical knowledge, but particu-
larly in that one single point of the safe
and expeditious extraction of the foetus,
-- which has received such lights, that,
for my part, (holding up his hands) I
declare I wonder how the world has ---
I wish, quoth my uncle Toby, you had
seen what prodigious armies we had in
Flanders.