Book I

(1) The author reflects upon the sad circumstances of his conception. (2) The author bemoans the vitiated homunculus and animal spirit. (3) How the preceding has been told to the author by his Uncle Toby. (4) Formal statement of the above far the benefit of readers who "find themselves ill at ease, unless they are let into the whole secret from first to last." (5) The author says he was born November 5, 1718. (6) The author prepares the reader for his donning the "fools-cap." (7) The installation of the midwife by the parson's wife. (8) A statement on hobby-horses, plus a Dedication. (9) Remarks on the preceding Dedication, its virginity and its value. (10) Fruitless return to the midwife; the story of Yorick's fine horses. (11) Yorick the jester and Yorick the parson. (12) Yorick's humor, its consequences, and his sad death (1748). (13) Second fruitless return to the midwife. (14) Difficulties of an author; despair at ever catching up: "I have been at it these six weeks, and am not yet born." (15) Mrs. Shandy's marriage settlement; her right to lie-in in London. (16) False-alarm and the return from London. (17) Consolation for Walter Shandy: Lying-in in the country. (18) Anticipations of Walter Shandy on his wife's lying-in in the country; his measures against careless delivery. (19) Walter Shandy on names good and evil; his unconquerable aversion for "Tristram." (2o) The author on careless readers; "Les Docteurs de Sorbonne" on baptism. (21) First chapter on Tristrarn's birth; Uncle Toby knocks out his ashes, and says think--"; Uncle Toby's modesty concerning Aunt Dinah. (22) The author's statement on his work: "In a word, my work is digressive, and it is progressive too,—and at the same time." (23) Reasons for drawing Uncle Toby's character from his hobby-horse. (24) The fact that Uncle Toby had a strange hobby-horse. (25) Uncle Toby's wound; the ease gained through telling about it. The author says that the reader cannot guess what he is about to say.

Book II

(1) King William's Wars; Uncle Toby's idea of a map of Namur. (2) The author answers his critics; he says that his book, like Locke's, is a "history of what passes in a man's mind." (3) Uncle Toby's map; the broadening of his knowledge of fortifications. (4) The author explains why he ended the previous chapter "at the last spirited apostrophe"; how Uncle Toby mightily desires his health. (5) Trim incites Uncle Toby to go down to the country to build fortifications. (6) The end of Uncle Toby's sentence, "I think—" which began in I, 21; a talk on modesty as a reason for Mrs. Shandy's preferring the midwife to Dr. Slop. (7) Modesty, cont'd; the right and wrong ends of a woman; Uncle Toby mentions his unfortunate experience with the Widow Wadman. (8) Concerning time (1% hours' "tolerable good reading"), and the hypercritic's pendulurn. (9) Obadiah's collision with Dr. Slop. ( 10) Enter Dr. Slop; on Uncle Toby's train of thought (connecting Stevinus with the ring of the bell). (11) "Writing is but a different name for conservation." Dr. Slop has forgotten his bag. (12) Why Stevinus carne into Uncle Toby's mind; patience and placidity of Uncle Toby shown by the episode of the fly; Walter repents his baiting of Uncle Toby and is forgiven. (13) " 'Tis not worth talking of." (14) Stevinus, cont'd. (15) The discovery of the Sermon upon Con- science. (16) How Conscience is upon neither side,—neither Cath¬olic nor Protestant. (17) Trim's stance and posture; the Sermon, with many interruptions; Trim's brother, Tom. (18) Obadiah's en- trance with the bag; Uncle Toby's "I wish you had seen what prodigious armies we had in Flanders." (19) "I have dropped the curtain over this scene for a minute." Mr. Shandy's nicety in reason¬ing; the center of the brain is the medulla oblongata—proved at length.

 

Book III

(1 ) Uncle Toby's wish, cont'd; Dr. Slop's "confusion." (2) Walter's challenging of the wish, and the reaching for a handkerchief. (3) Reaching for the handkerchief, cont'd. (4) The author on the relation of body and mind. (5) Reaching for the handkerchief, cont'd. (6) Walter's challenging of the wish, cont'd; Uncle Toby whistles Lillabullero. (7) How the green bag was knotted because Obadiah could not hear himself whistle. (8) The knotting of the green bag, cont'd; how this was a link in the concatenation of events against the fortunes of Tristram Shandy. (9) The knotted bag, cont'd. ( io) The cutting of the knots; on curses. (11) The curse of Ernulphus. (12) On exactitude, illustrated by Garrick's Ham/et; the inclusiveness of Emulphus's curse—how all others derive from it. (13) In which Tristram Shandy begins to be born; the midwife's accident; Dr. Slop's "the subordination of fingers and thumbs to ******." (14) A discussion of Dr. Slop's "singular stroke of eloquence" compared to one of Cicero's. (15) Dr. Slop draws from his bag forceps and squirt; Uncle Toby's advantage. (16) Demonstration of the forceps on Uncle Toby. (17) Danger of the forceps mistaking the hip for the head. (18) Lecture on Duration: Walter to Uncle Toby; the chagrin of Walter. (19) The author regrets that the lecture was ended by Walter's petulance. (2o) Sleep descends on Walter and Uncle Toby, whereupon the author finds time to write his Preface; the Preface: concerning Locke's favoring Judgment over Wit and how he was bubbled. (21) How the parlor door hinge has squeaked for ten years. (22) Rude awakening by squeaking hinges; how heirloom boots become mortars. (23) Tris- tram Shandy has been born, and Dr. Slop builds a bridge. (24) How this bridge is mistaken for the one destroyed by Trim and Bridget. (25) How the destroyed bridge was to be rebuilt. (26) Return to the "present"; Uncle Toby sends thanks to Dr. Slop for rebuilding the bridge. (27) The enlightenment about the bridge; Walter is led to his room by Uncle Toby. (28) The author shows respect for the tribulations of his father. (29) Man bears pain and sorrow best in a horizontal position. (30) Why Walter's affliction was extravagant; "To explain this, I must leave him upon the bed for half an hour." (31) Discussion between Tristram's great-grandfather and great-grandmother on noses. (32) The same, cont'd. (33) Discussion between Tristram's grandfather and grandmother on noses. (34) Walter's concern with the literature on noses. (35) Walter's collection of this literature. (36) A warming by the author to the female reader. (37) Noses, cont'd. (38) In praise of Hafen Slawkenbergius. (39) Conflict between Walter and Uncle Toby on noses. (40) Locke and noses. (41) Noses, cont'd. (42) Further praise of Slawkenbergius by the author.

 

Book IV

The ninth tale of the tenth decad of Slawkenbergius, translated from the original Latin by the author. (1) Cautious hints concerning the untranslated tenth tale of the tenth decad. (2) Back to Walter Shandy, who is stili prostrate. (3) Lashes, metaphorical and literal: Walter Shandy vs. "a grenadier in Makay's Regiment." (4) Trim's memory and his brother in Portugal. (5) A very short aside by Walter. (6) How Walter Shandy rises from his bed of grief. (7) Walter on misfortune. (8) How "Trismegistus" will counteract a crushed nose. (9) Walter on the laws of chance. (10) The author writes a chapter on "chapters," while his father and uncle are stili on the stairs. (11 ) The greatness of "Trismegistus": antiphon by Walter and Uncle Toby. (12) How husbands are ignored during childbirth. (13) How the author gets his father and uncle off the stairs at last, as he despairs of ever catching up with the story of his life. (14) Time has truly passed; Walter is awakened by the maid; the leaky vessel carries away "Trismegistus," part of which seeps out. (15) The author writes his chapter on sleep. (16) Walter remains calm. (17) The author's explanation of this calmness. (18) Uncle Toby and Trim regret the misnaming, musing however upon the uselessness of names in battle. (19) The belated Lamentation of Walter. (20) The author on the dangerous and devious turnings of his book. (21) Digression upon kings: how Francis I solved a knotty problem satisfactorily. (22) The author explains that his book is written against nothing but spleen. (23) Walter and Yorick discuss un-naming; Yorick suggests a dinner with learned men. (25) A chapter has been torn out, and the author explains what was in that chapter: the coach with the erroneous bend sinister in the Shandv arms. (26) The dinner of learned men (The "Visitation Dinner"). (27) The same, cont'd. A misplaced chestnut. (28) Treatment of a chestnut burn. (29) Discussion by the learned men on the naming of a child; how a mother has no relation to her child. (3o) On the latter point, between Uncle Toby and Yorick. (31) Walter Shandy's legacy—the ox-moor or Bobby's "grand tour"; how the matter is settled by the death of Bobby. (32) The author: how true Shandcism opens the heart and the lungs.

 

Book V

(1) The author inveighs against plagiarism; his digression on whiskers with the story of the Lady Baussière. (2) Walter is informed of the death of his son Bobby. (3) How Walter carried on: consolation in rhetoric. (4) Containing a choice anecdote: a cul¬mination of Walter's carryings-on. (5) How the author leaves his mother standing outside the parlor door. (6) In the kitchen: a parallel to the parlor declamation. (7) Trim the orator: on Death. (8) In which the author remembers his debt of a chapter on chambermaids and buttonholes. (9) Trim continues: on Death. (10) The same, cont'd. (11) The author remembers his mother outside the parlor door. (12) The author returns to bis mother—but does not. (13) What Mrs. Shandy had heard. (14) The matter of Socrates' children, cleared up. (15) The author digresses with "Had this volume been a farce. . . ." (16) Walter writes a Tristra-paedia. (17) Tristram has an accident. (18) Susannah confides in Trim. (19) Digression: Uncle Toby wishes for more cannon; Trim removes the window sashes. (20) Trim champions Susannah. (21) How Trim's succoring Susannah suggests the Battle of Steenkirk to Uncle Tobv. (22) The Battle of Steenkirk, cont'd. (23) Susannah, Trim, Uncle Toby, and Yorick advance on Shandy Hall. (24) The author on his father's variousness. (25) The author mentions his right to go backwards. (26) Walter is informed of the accident. (27) Walter finds a certain good in the accident: on circumcision. (28) Walter Shandy: On the Good. (29) A story by Yorick: the battle between Gvmnast and Tripet. (30) Walter on the merits of the Tristra-paedia. (31) Tristra-paedia: the origins of society and the rights of the parents (an echo of IV, 29). (32) Trim is catechizcd. (33) Tristra-paedia: Walter Shandy on radical heat and radical moisture. (34) The same, cont'd. (35) The same, cont'd. (36) The same, cont'd. (37) Uncle Toby and Trim on radical heat and radical moisture. (38) The same, cont'd. (39) Dr. Slop delivery a prognosis on the results of the accident. (40) Radical heat and moisture, resumed. (41) The author shouts encouragement and patience to the reader. (42) Another chapter of the Tristra-paedia, on the value of the auxiliary verbs. (43) Auxiliary verbs, cont'd.

Book VI

(1) The author looks back at his work and marvels at the quantity of jackasses in the world. (2) The value of the Tristra-paedia: famous prodigies. (3) An altercation between Dr. Slop and Susannah at the dressing of Tristram's wound. (4) A brief statement of events. (5) Walter's conception of the right kind of tutor. (6) The story of Le Fever. (7) The same, cont'd. (8) The same, cont'd. (9) Uncle Toby goes to bed (part of the story of Le Fever). (10) Le Fever dies. (11) The author is impatient to return to his story; however, he takes time to discourse upon sermons. (12) Uncle Tobv and young Le Fever. (13) Young Le Fever's military misfortunes; Uncle Toby recommends him as Tristram's tutor. (14) Dr. Slop has exaggerated in public Tristram's accident. (15) A line on Walter's determination to put Tristram into breeches. (16) On resolutions and Walter's "beds of justice." (17) A historical precedent for the beds of justice. (18) The consideration of breeches in the beds of justice. (19) "Breeches" in the literature of antiquity. (20) The author leaves his characters safely occupied and moves on to another "scene of events." (21) Uncle Toby's battlefield, and (22) The battlefield and the sentry-box (several years are telescoped) . (23) A town is built for the sake of verisimilitude. (24) About Trim's Montero-cap. (25) The author's encomium to Uncle Tobv and Trim; he anticipates Uncle Toby's death. (26) How Trim made the cannons smoke. (27) Uncle Toby's appreciation of Trim's genius. (28) Uncle Toby fights the temptation of the ivory pipe. (29) The author prepares the reader for love. (30) How all, great and small, have loved. (31) How the peace of Utrecht brings unemployment to Uncle Toby. (32) Uncle Toby's "apologetical oration": in defence of his wishing the war to continue. (33) The author mentions again that he is obliged to go backwards and forwards. (34) Uncle Toby concludes the peace on his battlefield. (35) A restless peace for Uncle Toby. (36) Disquisitions upon love, to be applied to Uncle Toby. (37) "Let love therefore be what it will, my uncle Toby fell into it." (38) In which the reader himself draws a likeness of Widow Wadman. (39) Mr. and Mrs. Shandy discuss Uncle Toby's amours. (40) The author begins to get "fairly into" his work; lines are drawn to show the reader how he has travelled so far.

 

Book VII

(1) The author prepares to flee from Death; on the low character of Death. (2) The flight: the Channel boat. (3) The flight: choice of three roads to Paris. (4) The flight: should one describe Calais? (5) The flight: the author describes Calais. (6) The flight: on to Boulogne. (7) The flight: delays on the road; the passengers' speculations on the author. (8) The flight: to Montreuil; the au¬thor's patience with French coaches and drivers. (9) The flight: Montreuil: Janatone, the innkeeper's daughter, and the transience of her beauty. (10) French postroads and distances. (11) "One gets heated travelling." (12) Abbeville and the inn not fit to die in. (13) On wagon wheels. (14) On Lessius's and Ribbera's estimates of the size of the soul; the author's sense of his death. (15) En route. (16) Reflections on how to pay the post charges and still sleep; the author sees Chantilly (hurriedly). (17) First view of Paris: "So this is Paris! quoth I." (18) Enurneratioh of the streets of Paris, quarter by quarter. (19) En route. (2o) How French post-horses are urged on. (21) The above illustrated by the story of the Abbess of Andouillets. (22) The same, cont'd. (23) The same, cont'd. (24) The same, cont'd. (25) 'The sarne, cont'd. (26) The author looks back upon the distance he has covered. (27) Trips are interchanged: Tristram's grand tour with his father and his uncle their visit to the rnummies at Auxerre. (28) The author comes to his senses and resumes the first journey. (29) The wrecked coach is sold in Lyons; "Every thing is good for something." (30) "Vexation upon vexation" in Lyons. (31) The story of Amandus and Amanda. (32) The interlude with the ass of Lyons: the author gives "Honesty" a macaroon. (33) Tristram and the Commissary. (34) The same, cont'd. (35) Tristram scores on the Commissary but pays nonetheless. (36) The loss of the "remarks." (37) Back to the coach purchaser. (38) The "remarks," used as curl-papers, "will be worse twisted still." (39) Sight-seeing in Lyons: "Lippius's dock" and the "Chinese history." (40) No tomb to drop tears on. (41) At Avignon: its windiness and its nobility. (42) En route: the author begins to believe that he has outrun Death. (43) The author, while en route, promises the continuation of the story of Uncle Toby's amours; he stops to dance with happy country-people; Nanette.

 

Book VIII

(1 ) Further statement on the necessity of going forwards and backwards. (2) The author expresses confidence in his method of writing a book. (3) The effect of velvet masks on the Shandy lineage. (4) How Uncle Toby finally heard that he was in love. (5) On drinking water. (6) How Uncle Toby's being a water drinker would have explained Mrs. Wadman's feelings toward him; the author expresses difficulty with this chapter. (7) The author, impa¬tient, points out the care required in telling his story. (8) How Uncle Toby lacked a bed when he first carne down to Shandy Hall; how he accepted a bed at the Widow Wadman's. (9) Widow Wadman's nightgowns and cold feet. ( 1o) How Uncle Toby did not learn of her love for him until eleven years later, at the demolition of Dunkirk. (11 ) 'The author curses women who don't care whether he eats his breakfast or not; he also curses furred caps. (12) He is struck by his extravagant metaphor. (13) An alphabetical damning of love. (14) How the position of Widow Wadman's house enabled her to attack. (15) The author, prefers to be burned from the top down; on the "blind gut." (16) The attack: Mrs. Wadman and Uncle Toby look at maps in the sentry-box. (17) The author treasures a map with their thumbprints. (18) "Dunkirk" is finally de¬stroyed: a continuation of the action first mentioned in VI, 34; Uncle Toby is sad. (19) To divert him, Trim essays the story of the King of Bohemia and his Seven Castles; Uncle Toby's argumentativeness. (2o) Trim's tale of the wound on his knee and of the fair Beguine who nursed him. (21) The same, cont'd. (22) The same, cont'd; Uncle Toby finishes Trim's story for him. (23) Widow Wadman attacks again. (24) How she gets something in her eye. (25) How Uncle Toby does not get it out; a description of Widow Wadman's eye. (26) Uncle Toby breaks a blister and realizes that his wound is not merely skin-deep. (27) Uncle Toby announces to Trim that he is in love. (28) Discussion between Mrs. Wadman and Bridget about Uncle Toby's wound. (29) How a sword gets in one's way. (30) Plans of action by Uncle Toby and Trim. (31) Preparations for Walter Shandy's laugh. (32) Walter laughs; Uncle Toby's blister and Hilarion's ass. (33) Altercations in the Shandy family concerning love. (34) The same, cont'd; Trim's wager; Walter's letter of advice to Uncle Toby. (35) Uncle Toby and Trim are ready to attack; Mr. and Mrs. Shandy stroll down to observe the campaign.

 

Book IX

(1) Mr. and Mrs. Shandy; her placidity and lack of prurience. (2) Uncle Toby's battle array: how his tarnished gold-laced hat became him. (3) Uncle Toby's fear of the attack. (4) Trim assures Uncle Toby that the Widow Wadman will accept him as readily as the Jew's widow accepted Tom, Trim's brother. (5) The story of Tom and the widow, told outside Mrs. Wadman's house. (6) The same, cont'd. (7) The same, cont'd. (8) Trim and Uncle Toby are seen by Mr. and Mrs. Shandy still standing and talking; the author's sense of the speed of time. (9) The author's comment on the reader's reaction to "that ejaculation." (10) Mr. and Mrs. Shandy await events; as Trim tells his story to Uncle Toby. (11) They agree about the nonsense of fortifications; Mrs. Shandy's agreeableness and Walter's chagrin about the date. (12) The author r pauses to balance folly with wisdom to assure the success of his book. (13) The author's method of overcoming dullness while writing; how his laundry bills will prove the cleanness of his writing. (14) The author continues killing time, waiting for Chapter 15. (15) The author realizes that in talking about his digression he has actually made it; his surprise at this fact. (16) Trim and Uncle Toby finally knock at the front door. (17) The front door is opened with great dispatch; the author on finances. (18) (IO
(2o) Uncle Toby assures Mrs. Wadman that she shall see and touch the very spot where he received his wound. (21) How a woman chooses a husband, illustrated from Slawkenbergius. (22) How all Uncle Toby's virtues are nothing to Mrs. Wadman. (23) Bridget's determination to get the truth out of Trim. (24) The author feels his "want of powers" to continue the story; the Invoca¬tion to the gentle imbecile, Maria. (25) In which the author ex¬plains the necessity of having written Chapter 25 before he could write Chapters 18 and 19 (18) Uncle Toby informs Mrs. Wadman that he loves her; the thanklessness of children and the burden. (19) Mrs. Wadman's "fiddlestick"; Uncle Toby's confusion and the siege of Jericho. (26) Mrs. Wadman's part concern about Uncle Toby's wound; she asks him where he received the sad blow; Uncle Toby sends for the map. (27) After Mrs. Wadman has put her hand on the spot where Uncle Toby was wounded, the map is sent to the kitchen. (28) Trim explains the siege of Namur to Bridget; her charge and his refutation. (29) Trim learns the story of Mrs. Wad¬rnan's concern from Bridget. (30) How Uncle Toby and Trim had carried on separate attacks. (31) Trim tells Uncle Toby of the widow's concern, apropos of her "Humanity"; Uncle Toby is disil¬lusioned. (32) The Shandy family convenes; Walter Shandy on women's lust. (33) Walter on the "provision . . . for continuing the race"; Obadiah's child and the Shandy bull ("a story about a cock and a bull").